All my life I’ve dealt with feelings of being unlovable. In fact, I can’t remember a time that I didn’t feel that way about myself. But that’s not the case anymore and I want to tell you how that came about.
I was raised in religion. I thank God for that because it introduced me to the greatest story every told. Jesus and His passion. However, it was religion and there were many rules and stoic practices that didn’t put me in touch with the love of God. I was ashamed for sending Jesus to the cross and desperately wanted to make it up to Him.
Our family was broken in many ways, as most are, and although I knew my parents loved me, many times the message I got was that of being unlovable, and in the way. I know now, that was never their intent, but as a kid, you internalize everything and make it about you. And that’s what I did. There were abuses that contributed to those feelings that I’ve dealt with and forgiven, but not without a lot of work and laying those things at the feet of Jesus, constantly.
My story is much like many of you, if they were told, and that’s why I want to share this amazing truth that broke into my life and heart and transformed my life.
“For God so loved the world that He gave His only begotten Son, that whoever believes in Him should not perish but have everlasting life. For God did not send His Son into the world to condemn the world, but that the world through Him might be saved.” John 3:16-17
You may be familiar with this verse from the Bible, but don’t pass it over as trite. I encourage you to read it slowly and without any preconceived notions about who God is. Just read it as if for the first time. There is so much love and compassion in this verse from God’s heart to ours and if we miss it, we miss the central message of the Bible: God LOVES us, passionately and completely!
So often I’ve longed for the love and acceptance of people and traded my dignity for a loving touch or kind word or just someone to tell me I was valuable and wanted. But people fail us and many times, not by any fault of ours, communicate unloving behavior toward us. I was conditioned by my past to believe they treated be wrong because I was flawed and if I would just fix myself, things would be better.
This is a lie of lies and I believed it to the detriment of my soul. But when I allowed the truth of who God truly is and how He sees me to break through all that shame and really sink in, everything in my life was touched by that truth. The way I saw and believed about myself, how I acted in relationship to others and how I could forgive the painful things others had done to me to offer them the same forgiveness that God offered me.
It wasn’t overnight. It is a process. One I’m still walking out, but now I walk with truth of God’s Word and His heart for me and nothing is the same.
I encourage you to look at these other passages of the Bible and let the truth set you free. God is not mad at you!!!
Let Christ be glorified in all,